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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740360">Head or Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southerner_holby/pseuds/Southerner_holby'>Southerner_holby</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Berena - Fandom, Holby City</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, berena - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:28:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23740360</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southerner_holby/pseuds/Southerner_holby</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bernie is ill, Serena wants to look after her. Does Bernie listen to her head or her heart? <br/>Requested by linguini17 on Tumblr, I hope you like it!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Head or Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope you are all staying safe x<br/>I want to do more writing, I have really enjoyed getting back into it again!<br/>Any comments are more than welcome, I really want to improve my writing and if anyone has any requests for fanfics then I am more than happy to comply!<br/>I love you all, and hope you enjoy this x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bernie hadn’t been well for a few days, which was unusual because she rarely got bugs or anything like that. This particular week, however, she kept getting headaches and having to step off the ward for a while until her head stopped hurting so much. Serena told her she should go home, but Bernie was determined to stay at work on AAU, feeling too guilty to put more work on everyone else. She was still a functioning doctor. </p><p>Serena rang Bernie one morning, wondering how she was feeling after checking in with her every morning to make sure she was alive and okay to work. </p><p>“I’m fine Serena, I promise” she said, knowing that she was starting to feel worse, but she didn’t want to worry Serena. “Yes, I know I’ve been feeling under the weather but as soon as I’m at work I’ll forget all about my headache”. Bernie knew this wasn’t true, that all she wanted to do was sleep, but she didn’t want to make the ward short staffed. She was just finishing her second mug of coffee to keep herself awake. </p><p>“That’s what I’m worried about, you won’t know how ill you are. I just want to make sure you’re okay, I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Serena left her house and began to walk to her car. “At least let me give you a lift, I don’t want you driving in this state, especially with a headache”. </p><p>Bernie pondered for a second, not wanting to be a burden. She gave in eventually, knowing that Serena would keep insisting. </p><p>“Fine, if that would make you feel better.” Bernie put her coat on with her eyes closed, with the bright light coming in through the window making her headache worse, but she wasn’t sure if it could possibly get any worse. </p><p>“Yes, it would, and hopefully it will make you feel better too! I’m on my way”. </p><p>“Okay, see you soon.” Bernie sat down, willing her headache to go away. In all honesty, she felt worse today than she did yesterday, but she hoped that going to work would make her feel a bit better. But then again, maybe she was only going to work to see Serena. Serena turned up in her car and Bernie tried her best to look awake and alive, although she knew she looked like death. </p><p>Bernie was surprised when Serena got out and opened the car door for her. </p><p>“Madam.” Serena said, opening the car door allowing Bernie to get in. </p><p>“Alright, I’m not incapable of opening a door!”</p><p>“I don’t want you overdoing it.” Serena tried to justify it, not wanting Bernie to think she was caring too much. </p><p>“It’s a door, not Everest” Bernie argued as she put her seatbelt on. </p><p>Serena sighed, wishing that Bernie would just accept some help, instead of acting like the big macho army medic, always wanting to be independent. “Let’s just go, shall we?”. Serena didn’t want to argue with her, but Bernie was so infuriating sometimes! </p><p>On the journey to the hospital, Bernie rested her head on the window, and yet still refused to accept defeat. </p><p>Dusty Springfield’s ‘Son of a Preacher Man’ came on the radio, which delighted Serena. “Bernie, do you remember when you thought Morven sounded like Dusty Springfield? That was so funny!”</p><p>“Hmm” Bernie replied, Serena was becoming more and more worried about her, normally she would have cackled like a goose. </p><p>As she parked in her spot in the carpark, she wanted to repeatedly ask Bernie if she was okay, finally noticing how pale she looked, but didn’t want to push it too far, she decided she would simply keep an eye on her. </p><p>“Right, come on major, time to do some doctoring”, Serena once again opened the door for her. Bernie said nothing, but just hooked her bag over her shoulder and got out of the car, steadying herself on the car. </p><p>“Bernie?”. Instead of replying, Bernie’s eyes rolled back, and she collapsed onto the tarmac. </p><p>“Bernie! Can I have some help here please!” Serena yelled, willing for anyone to come and help. </p><p>Bernie’s pulse was weak, and she was unresponsive. “Damn”. Serena held onto Bernie’s hand. “Don’t you dare do this to me”. </p><p>“Serena?” Fletch and Ric ran out into the carpark, interrupting Serena’s thoughts, mainly anger that Bernie didn’t just stay at home.</p><p>Ric was the only one who knew about Serena and Bernie’s sort of relationship, so he knew Serena wouldn’t be able to do anything to help Bernie if she needed to be operated on. </p><p>“Ric! She’s had a headache for a few days, her pulse is weak and she’s not responding”. Serena was practically sobbing now, fear overtaking her rational thoughts as she was scared about what would happen if she lost her. There was so much they hadn’t talked about, like the future they were supposed to have together but neither would bring up the subject. She desperately didn’t want it to end like this. </p><p>“Right, let’s get her in”. Ric and Fletch were both being awfully gung-ho about the whole thing, which panicked Serena even more because she knew something must be really wrong. She knew they were doing it because there was no way any of them would let a member of their AAU family die, making Serena somewhat thankful that Bernie did come in today. What would have happened if Bernie collapsed at home? </p><p>Not allowing this thought to take up too much space in her head, she ran in after them. “Straight into theatre please, Serena you should stay here.” </p><p>Feeling helpless, Serena watched as Bernie was wheeled into theatre. She had never been this hopeless, always able to help those she loved. Rationally she knew that she shouldn’t operate, but part of her thought she was the only one who could save Bernie. </p><p>“It’s okay, Serena, Ric and Fletch are in there”, Morven put her hand on her shoulder, bringing her back to the present. “Shall we get you a cup of tea?” </p><p>“Okay”, Serena sighed, willing the stupid clock to move faster. </p><p>Morven was stood at the kettle preparing a mug of coffee, strong and hot, for Serena who looked extremely worried. </p><p>“I’m sure she’ll be okay with Ric looking after her. He won’t let anything happen.” Morven said, placing a mug of coffee on the table and sitting across from Serena. </p><p>“It’s not that, I know he’ll do a great job, always does.” Serena sighed, placing her head in her hands. </p><p>“Then what is it? Something’s been off with you for a while”. </p><p>“I know, I’ve, I’ve just been going through a few things”. Serena knew that everyone would find out eventually, so she just decided to confide in her friend. </p><p>“I’ve, um, fallen in love”. Serena shut her eyes, prepared for the excitement of her colleague. </p><p>“I know” Morven replied. </p><p>Serena opened one of her eyes and glared at her. “What?” shocked that she hadn’t been able to conceal her feelings better. </p><p>“But how did you know? I’m the master of concealment”.</p><p>“Oh, come on, Serena! Everyone knows how you feel about Bernie. The way you both look at each other is infuriatingly cute, you are relationship goals and you’re not even together!”. </p><p>“Ah, so does everyone know?” Serena was scared to ask.  </p><p>“Well, everyone on AAU, we are a family after all. And you are our AAU mums, we won’t let anything happen to either of you, we promise. You don’t need to worry, I’m sure Bernie will be just fine”. Morven placed her hand on Serena’s, but Serena smiled through tears as she realised how close she has come to losing the one person she loves most. </p><p>“Serena?” After a long while, the longest while Serena had ever experienced in her life, Fletch came in after finishing in theatre. Serena looked round at him with wide eyes, worried about what he might say next. </p><p>Fletch just smiled. “She’s in the side room”. Serena exhaled as though she had been holding her breathe for hours. She promptly stood up and hugged Fletch, before making her way towards Bernie. </p><p>When she went in, Bernie was already awake. <br/>“Bernie” Serena said quietly, not wanting to startle her. Bernie looked round at her and smiled. Holding out her hand which Serena grabbed, perching on the side of the bed. </p><p>“You gave us all quite a fright there major, me in particular”. </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to”, she squeezed Serena’s hand. </p><p>“So, what’s the damage?” </p><p>“Nothing much, just a traumatic brain injury. I, erm, I fell down the stairs last week after a dizzy spell but didn’t think anything of it”. </p><p>“Bernie, why didn’t you say anything?”</p><p>“I didn’t want to worry you, and I felt absolutely fine, just a few bruises here and there”. Bernie looked defeated. </p><p>Serena squeezed Bernie’s hand, not wanting to argue with her. “Well, at least you’re okay now. I don’t know what I’d have done if anything had happened to you”. </p><p>“Don’t, please”. Bernie closed her eyes, not wanting to think about leaving Serena alone. “Serena, the truth is, there’s a lot of things I haven’t told you. The main one being that I keep meaning to ask you out, but never having the courage to say anything. After I woke up in here, I realised how short life is, and how important it is not to waste it ignoring what makes you happy. You make me so happy Serena, and I don’t want to waste any more time dancing around it”.</p><p>“Oh Bernie, I would love to go out with you, as long as you watch Strictly with me, I am determined to learn how to jive!”. She kissed Bernie’s hand. “But before that, you’re coming to stay with me so I can keep an eye on you. Bubble baths, wine, the lot. No arguments. We need to get you rested up and better before we learn the tango, then we’ll be dancing together instead of around each other!”.  </p><p>“Well, I’m not going to argue with that”. </p><p>Later that evening, Morven went to check on Bernie and saw Serena asleep against her shoulder, both women looking exhausted but happy. “Finally!”.</p>
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